i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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