Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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