New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
