i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
