i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
