OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
worst night to have a conscience
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
