nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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