he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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