How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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