I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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