u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
