just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
