He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
