Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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