MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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