How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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