I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize