Apparently you make a good broom.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
