There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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