You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
