Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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