You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
