He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
