he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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