It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
