Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize