The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
