i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
