No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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