Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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