and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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