Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
