I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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