This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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