do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
