is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize