Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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