Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Randomize
