cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
