chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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