That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
