I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's official drugs can't kill me
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
