Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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