I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
