where am i from again
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
