I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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