The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How external is "for external use only"?
50% drunk capacity currently
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
