Your tits are I can't wait for
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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