why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize