Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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