she was so not down for the gang bang
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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