like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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