there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
