I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
