He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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