I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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