Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
